Asking questions is the most effective form of finding answers. But first we must ask. Sounds simple, right? However, when we do ask questions (most people don’t for fear of upsetting the status quo) the questions asked are those which keep us in the same place.

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What stops us asking the right questions (this includes not just asking questions of ourselves but when asking others too)?

• Fear of the answer

• Fear of the other’s response

• Not knowing how to ask

• Feeling you can't ask

• Asking without meaning (example: why does this always happen to me?  [Who are we asking this question of anyway?])

• Kidding yourself that things will change eventually (this usually entails no plan and is solely dependent on others acting in your interest. Rarely happens, if ever!)​

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Making sense of ourselves. How can we do this?

• Knowing how we think or at least what we think about most of the time. What thoughts take up most of your mental energy?

• Why is this issue so important to you? Why dedicate as much time as you do?

• What is it about this thought? Why does it have so much meaning and impact in your life?

• How does it leave you feeling?

• What is/are the feeling/feelings?

• Why this or those feelings? (Don’t shrug. Give it time and understand it.)

• How does it affect you?

• How do you typically behave (or react) when the thought and feeling is at its worst?

• What do you do? (As opposed to what you would like to do. And why don't you do what you would like to? Tip: Even if not to the individual or situation, state out loud or write down what you would like to do.)

• Now, what would you like to do? (How would you like to react instead?)

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Again, not exhaustive questions but certainly ones to get you thinking and feeling. The typical questions I would be asking of you in a session.

Many people know so much more about other people than they do about their selves. We live our life, but rarely know why or how we live it.

Why do you live like you do? Most answers to this are, to work and earn; to raise a family; to be there for my partner or spouse. Millions of people share this. But what are the specifics of why you live like you do?